Thankful for 5

Been a long time, blowing off a little bit of dust.

1. School year over, pretty good school years at that.

2. Kev on vacation this week, see how thankful I am for that by the end of the week.

3. Gorgeous weather today.

4. Opportunity for Kev work wise.

5. My little garden veggie herb gardens, and my potted flowers all doing nicely. Makes me smile.

Wordless Wednesday: Blast from St. Patty's Past

Being the parents of teens

Has been the hardest challenge of our lives. You know Murphy's Law, what can go wrong will? Well, that has been our life during the teen years. Our boys made every single mistake that the parenting books warn you about, even evented a few of their own. Most mistakes, they made more than a few times.

Guess what?? Today, we are no longer the PARENTS OF TEENS!! Our youngest son, Justin, turns 20 today. ALIVE? That, in itself, is a milestone. While he still makes mistakes, they are fewer and less life altering. Our son is man. He is slowly maturing, and there are days we actually see the light, granted dimly, but it's there.


So join me in celebrating Justin's 20 years. Happy Birthday to my baby boy. May you stay safe while you follow your journey finding out the man you will be.

Also help me celebrate the 1 year 2 month previeve we have from parenting a teen. Then prayers may commence as we enter into the insanity again... this time with girls!

Thankful for 5

It's Friday, time to list the 5 things I am thankful for this week. If you'd like to play along, go for it! Be kind and link back. You'd be surprised at how listing 5 little things you are thankful for makes a big difference in how you feel.

1. my daughter's twitchy-ness, goodness knows many have it WAY worse.

2. health insurance, okay, maybe that's a huge thing I'm thankful for. Bills just rolled in from my hospital stints. They are manageable.

3. the ability to be home with my girls when they are sick and not worry about loss of pay.

4. Take out. 'Nuff said.

5. This week I'm most thankful for my son making it to 20. It has been a lonnng road, one with many bumps, and I'm sure more to come. BUT he is alive, healthy and, every so slowly, maturing.

Thursday Thirteen: Things I'm looking forward to...

1. VACATION

2. Getting out today into the warm weather

3. Clocks going forward this weekend

4. 3 day weekend with hubby

5. St. Patrick's Day Parade this weekend xFingers crossedx postponed until next Saturday, when we will be attending a 2 yo's birthday party. Lucky we love the kid!

6. new carpet upstairs

7. income tax return

8. BFF visit this Summer

9. paycheck tomorrow

10. seeing friends over the weekend

11. school coming down to the end

12. date hour tonight

13. celebrating my youngest son's 20th birthday this weekend!!

Wordless Wednesday: OBX dreaming... 42 days and counting!

Thankful for 5

1. the health our family enjoys right now

2. seeing Kev's family even if under such sad circumstances.

3. glouriously warm weather

4. 42 days until vacation!

5. downtime that I have desparately needed.

Haunted by a look

This weekend we had to attend the funeral of my husband's Uncle Mike. I'm embarrassed, ashamed, to say we hadn't seen him in over 7 years. To be 2 hrs away, that is quite sad. My husband didn't know him all that well, but always liked him. He was a quiet man, but always had a smile and welcoming air about him.

Now Auntie Peg, Uncle Mike's wife, she isn't the quiet one. She is the one bustling about making sure everything is perfect. She rules the roost and keeps it running smoothly without a hitch. She is the strong one. The one you never see a tear from. The one who does not tolerate anything less than your best. She is the one that no one worries about, as "It's Auntie Peg, she'll be fine. She's a strong woman."

That statement seemed to be the overall sentiment of the funeral. In my head, I quietly disagreed. Sitting in the church for mass, I was in direct line of Auntie Peg. No, I didn't see a tear. I saw a look. Sitting in the front pew, a side ways glance at her resting husband. A long, lingering look, head bowed to the left. Eyes full of sorrow, a weight so heavy over her expression that I had to turn away. In a church full of people, it was a private moment, her private moment. Her few seconds to let down her guard, to let the loss settle over her, a moment to feel her goodbye. In that moment, she was not Auntie Peg, "the strong one." She was just a woman mouring the loss of her beloved husband, her friend, the father of her children. A few fleeting moments later, the veil of strength came down again. Auntie Peg, "the strong one" had returned.

But I saw it. I know in the quiet moments to herself, she isn't going to be as strong as they all think. :( So when anyone asks my husband how she seemed, I cringe when he says, "You know Auntie Peg, she'll be okay. She's a strong woman." He didn't see the moment. He didn't see the grief over take her. He saw what she wanted them to see. He only saw "the strong one".

So while I say a prayer for Uncle Mike, my heart breaks for Auntie Peg. My prayers go to her in the quiet moments to herself when she can be just Peg. Just a woman who doesn't have to be the shoulder for the world. A woman that has suffered a great loss. I pray for her that she will have the strength to allow herself those moments. Being strong is not holding back the tears, being strong is allowing them to come.

Want to make your own blog button but don't know how??

Stop over at Work, Wife, Mom, Life and let Julia teach you how.

In minutes I had my very own. Thank you, Julia!

Look on my sidebar! ------>

Friday Fails? Ever had one?

As this Friday has only begun, I haven't had much time to fail. Well, unless you count me oversleeping from taking 2 Tylenol PMs last night. Wouldn't be such a big deal IF I didn't have 11 and 9 year old girls. Girls that blessedly got ready on their own and got off to the bus. Thank GOD the bus stop is the front porch. I was technically awake, but was in a foggy haze in bed.

What more can I fail at today? I mean there are so many more hours left in the day, there must be more! Well at least I ended the week failing like I began it, as I wrote about earlier with my Monday Fail!

Over at My Blessed Life Myra talks of her Friday Fails. You'll never look at your car the same again. Go link up your Friday Fails!!

Wordless Wednesday Goodbye Hello

test

Meanderings from the outside looking in

Thoughts you have when locked out of your home.

1. Is there an app for that? Heck there is one for shutting off your lights remotely. How about the one for busting out a window and squeezing your fat ass through that hole app?

2. Don't go out with your hair wet, especially when your brush is locked in your car and there are hefty wind gusts. The homeless look, not a good one.

3. Think the neighbor is wondering why I'm sat on the porch? He barely sees me out of the house when it's summer.

4. Fuck no, I'm not asking him if I can wait at his house. I'd sooner go in the shed with the unknown varmints.

5. How many cars go up and down the main road and where the hell are they all going? And WHY do they feel it necessary to beep at homeless lady sitting on porch? Don't these people work?

6. It's warm in the sun. Repeat over and over.

7. The porch needs a redoing.

8. Karma is a mean bitch when bites you back, as proven by the bite marks she is leaving right now.

9. Wishing there was a way I could do absolutely nothing today, bad move! Wish granted, careful what you wish for!

10. Thank GOD, and countless geeks, for iPhone.

11. It's warm in the sun. Repeat.

12. How long is that hour ride going to take my saviour to get here?

13. I'd never surviv

--------
Okay, I didn't perish do to the elements during the writing of #13, my iPhone just decided I'd written enough.
--------

If you enjoyed my Monday fail, you will certainly enjoy Myra's Friday Fails at My Blessed Life. She is failing with humor!

Bloggers Spring Give '10

Modern Matriarch blogged last week about getting ready for an upcoming move. She is working on simplifying her family's life by living with half! The PODS arrived in front of her home, and right to work she went.

From the response she received on her blog she has started up Bloggers Spring Give '10.

Here's the jist:

Starting today, March 1, you have a month to make a pile of stuff.

Go through your kids toys, go through your closets, check in your attic and under your bed.

Use this rule: Have I used/worn this in the last three months? Will I use/wear it in the next three months? If the answer is no, it goes in the pile.

Then, find local donation centers or church organizations that could use these items. Anyone in NJ, I urge you to check out OneSmallWish. Otherwise, call local women's shelters, churches, Goodwill. Many of these organizations can provide you with a tax ID and the donation can be deductible on your 2010 taxes.

Schedule a drop off or a pick up of your items. Take pictures of you and your kids purging your "stuff," teach them that there are other kids and mommies and daddies who need these things more than you do.

And then on April 1, I'll be hosting Blogger's Spring Giving.

Simple, right?? Join the purge, help others and simplify your life!

Thankful for 5

1. A friend request on FB that resulted in a bit of harmless jealousy, sometimes a little jealousy is good for the old battered ego. And request was ignored.

2. Scoring seats and swapping plates at carrabas, you'd really have to love someone to swap 3/4 eaten dinners.

3. Scoring seats at McI's last night

4. Great times watching, singing and dancing to Boothill Express. Totally could have rocked being a southern redneck girl.

5. A day to recover after a fabulous date night with my handsome man. Feel truly blessed today.

Who Are You??

The Census came up on a message board I belong to. The question was asked if you will be filling it out. My answer, yes, but just basic info about how many live here. Nothing more. Through that the conversation moved onto the info that used to be on the census reports and how you can search your ancestry through them on Ancestry.com

And so my journey began a few days ago. I've barely logged out of it in days. Who knew that my family had roots in the British West Indies? Who knew that Dutch was a strong line in our ancestry. When my parents told us that we were a Irish, English, Scotch, Dutch & German.. I tended to believe, or not believe the Dutch/German part. Well, not so! I can see the name of the darned streets that my family traced back too! It's absolutely amazing.

What took me by surprise the most was the emotions I've been feeling. I've not been one to really care too much about where my ancestors came from. My mom and dad's synopsis above was always enough for me. That was until I could put a name on a person and see where they came from. And who their sisters and brothers were.. see our family tree intertwine with others' trees. To physically see a draft card, or OMG, a picture of my great grandmother! I've been searching and wiping away tears for days, as is Taylor. She is so fascinated.

Now for the best part so far, I found a tree that intertwined with ours. The Duffy Family Tree, and on that tree was my maternal grandmother, and her siblings. My mom hadn't seen any of this family since around 1980. So I email through the site...

Subject: About Gertrude **
I am her Granddaughter, Kimberlee. My mother is Nancy Lee xxxx.

Reply:
Kxxxx
Yesterday 6:37 PM GMT
I remember your mother Lee very well. She's my cousin. I think of the R**** very often but we lost touch years ago.

My father (John ****) was Aunt Gert's youngest brother. (My father died in March 2008 - he was 81). He was much younger than Aunt Gert, the last of 6. He wasn't much older than your Aunt Betty.

I wonder about your mom, about Mert (I heard Paul died years ago) and all of you kids. I think you have two older brothers, don't you? (Is one Tommy???)

I'm very happy to have re-connected with you Kimberlee! Would you please tell me all about your family? I'd love to get us all back in touch! My email is xxxxx@hotmail.com.

Your cousin,
K

I was blown away!! I immediatly took the email to my daughter, and just like me, tears! This is my mother's 1st cousin! How do you lose touch? And my mom's uncle died not so long ago. They are in Pennsylvania, we could have been part of each others' lives. Yep, I'm tearing up again.

What a blessing. I truly hope to find relatives from my dad's side, as I know NONE of his family. I know more about them in 2 days than I had ever learned in 37 years.

Anyway, this is not a sponsored post for sure, but I'd do a commercial for Ancestry.com for free! Highly, highly recommend it to anyone.

Got the domain

Now what the heck to do? It was only $10. I still think my husband would flip his shit over buying a name! Oh well, I work. lol.

My blogroll was lost, so I need to rebuild that. Not easy when I now have to figure out where the blogs were. I've discussed before how I'm a loser blogger, I don't know how to setup a blog reader. Blogger 101 is probably something I should google!

(and proofreading might be something that would come in handy ;) )

Things that make me happy

Lost photos from our Princeton "Lets pretend we are in Hawaii" trip.

Thankful for 5

I NEED to find the positive today.

1. catching back up with good friends that always seem to get caught in the crossfire of unrelated drama

2. my SN friends for always being there, no matter what

3. work being very slow right now with a snow "storm" on track for tomorrow. little work means little driving.

4. having rekindled family relationships so that we can be contemplating a family reunion in Vegas this Summer. May not be able to make it, but nice that it's on the table.

5. TIMEOUT! for myself. I needed it tonight!

I was vomited on today..

Or at least that is how it felt. I was surrounded by so much negativity today that by the time I got in from work tonight, I was spewing my very own brand of nastiness.

At 7pm, I put myself in timeout. Grabbed a Coors Light, sat on the couch and just let myself breathe. Before that I was so tightly bound I thought I'd explode. Snapping at the kids, slamming draws and cabinets. Flinging dinner on the stove and onto plates. I really felt I was going to snap.

Now, after my session on the naughty couch, awwww, I'm finally feeling sane. I really need to figure out how to not let the negativity, that has a way of surrounding my day, suck me in.

But man, one last tidbit from my negativity train, Rachel Ray cover up them saggy boobs and shudddup!

Back to my Coors Light and quiet time.

Productive??

Me, not in the least. It's another pj day. Seem to be having quite a few of those. Work is at a snails pace at the moment. Might need to freshen up the ol' resume. But beyond work, there is stuff I could, should, be doing. I'm going to list them and hopefully that will motivate my behind. Bullets to follow.

• put away dishes
• load dishes
• make bed
• put laundry in
• take laundry out
• put away
• dust before we are over taken by the bunnies
• shower, yeah, that should happen soon
• vacuum
• call tax man
• drop off papers to tax man
• finalize obx house
• write letter to insurance
• mail letter to state
• go to store
• make dinner
• call mom back
• stop analyzing shit that has nothing to do with me
• pick up iPhone
• figure out how to strike off something on my bullet list after accomplished.. bet you know that is the first thing I will do!

Oh I'm sure there is much more, just got sick of thinking. Yeah, there goes that lack of productivity again. Summoning the Gods for me to get a move on.

A little AM whine

Sick again. This has been the winter from hell with all the cooties. Liv has been sick since last Wednesday, had to finally break down and get her on meds. Much better today. So now, I've gotten the gift of her germs. No voice again. How many times is that this freaking year? I'm sure Kev will be right behind.

I'm done with this freaking crap. Bring on the damn Spring so we can disinfect this damn place. UGHH, if I have to whisper to my kids one more stinking and have them say, "What? I can't hear you." And then walk away and ignore me, yes, that may send me over the edge.

mile markers that get you through the winter

Winter is long and miserable here. I always try to break winter down into mile markers. Each mile marker reached, closer to Spring.

First, get Christmas over and done with. Next, count down to Valentine's Day. Then St. Patricks... and sometimes we are blessed with warm weather for the parade. But those are just little ones that semi help.

Our major mile marker is counting down to vacation.. and seeing the bffs. They've popped in here, typically in February, we've popped down there in April and Summer. But the biggy is the April trip to OBX. They can't make it this year. Totally understand, but still blows chunks all the same. That trip is what has kept, along with the little jaunts here and there, us sane. Hmm, wonder why we are on the verge on INSANE!

So, we're trying to put together a lone family trip. It's not like we aren't looking forward to it... it's just that we aren't counting down to it. Heck, we haven't even pinned it down. We've researched Destin Fl, OBX, Niagara Falls, Myrtle Beach, and even Georgia. Nothing solid. Frankly, considering staying home. My job has slowed, well more than slowed. Probably NOT a good time to go away. But God our sanity needs it.

Driving to FL difficult because of travel time. Flying difficult because airfare+rental car +rental house.. umm no! OBX, still top of the list, but doesn't feel right.. or fun to anyone right now. Myrtle Beach, maybe. Georgia, probably too far on the drive as well. Niagara, difficult for rental like we'd want. Moreso hotels, means eating out for all meals, means $$$. Plus mid April, Niagara Falls? COLD!

So right now the marker we have to cling to? St. Patricks Day! Might start it off with an Irish Wake this weekend. Hell if we have to be cold and miserable, might as well be drink our way through!

Thankful for 5

1. My husband being more rational than me, who'd have thunk it?

2. Winter phasing out, hopefully!

3. Our weekend away, was a nice time and what we really needed.

4. That I still have a job even though it is unGodly slow.

5. Things hopefully getting better for my friend/neighbor.

Thankful for 5

1. Justin not being hurt in the accident, totalled car but no injuries, thank God.

2. Myself being on the mend

3. Mom heading out soon. She really has been on her best behavior this visit but we really cherish our home just being us.

4. My bro starting a new chapter in his life, really hope it turns things around for him. He is a hard worker and it seems it's always 1 step forward 2 steps back.

5. and mostly, my husband. Can't even get into all he did for me, and everyone here, when I was so sick. I've never seen him be so strong. He was really my rock, my doctor, my shoulder. I cannot think of him without tearing up. I love you, Kevin.